Bob misses his Sugar Encrusted Chocolate Golden Syrup Popped Fruity Smacks
...now the free prize at the bottom is just sadness.
Aug. 09, 2016
Did you have a breakfast cereal this morning? Was it fun? Bob was tucking into his bowl of Reasonable Bran and suddenly flashed back to the simple pleasure of a Saturday morning, filling the biggest bowl in the cupboard, shoveling spoonful after spoonful in his face while watching Hong Kong Phooey. Ahh, that was the life. Kids these days, bah, they don't realize what we had.
Like mascots! Does Mueslix have a cranked up cartoon character dancing around it's bowl of whatever the heck it is?
WE HAD PRIZES!
For breakfast cereal, things aren't the same these days. A recent study showed that sales to younger generations have declined because...washing a dish and spoon afterward is much too time consuming. And, sure, with most breakfast cereals, eating the box would be more healthy than ingesting the sugar and sodium and gluten within. And there's no fun prize waiting at the bottom of the box anymore because choking hazards and the expensive of loading up boxes of Fructose Bits with a toy modern kids would actually want, that's why.
A couple years back, Bob instantly became a twelve year old when he discovered a display of Frankenberry, Boo Berry and Count Chocula. He snagged all three, and half way through eating all of them in one sitting, he was transported to a world of sketchy cereal obsessed rabbits and toucans, bears in sweaters and no pants who talked like Bing Crosby, and a talking tiger in a neckerchief who lived to pour Frosted Flakes down your throat. And, yes, Mr. T.
So, just for a moment, forgot that box of All Bran Complete Fiber Wheat Muesli Bits and tuck into a big box of Chocolate Drowned Sugar Nukes or the nearest equivelant. Have somebody cram a prize in the bottom. Draw a kooky animated character on the cover if there isn't one. Your outer grown up will mock you mercilessly...but your inner child will thank you.
Or just stay really into bran. Like this guy. Whatever.