Coffee & Conversations With Bob
We all know Bob's social cues may be a bit askew, and in an environment like say, a gym; well, Bob might just say anything. If it pops in his head, it just as quickly pops out of his mouth. He ran a social experiment of sorts the other day and jotted down phrases or actions one should NEVER EVER say or do while at the gym. (We also found it a bit odd that Bob went to the gym to jot down notes, because we're pretty sure that should be on his list, but... we won't tell him if you won't).
The first one is a bit gross:
"I promise the fungus is not contagious."
Okay Carl, if you have a weird infection, go to a Dr. not the gym.
2. The lap pool is not for floats:
"Do you mind moving over a lane so my giant flamingo float can fit."
3. Keep your eyes to yourself:
"Hope you don't mind me standing here and watching you."
Actually, Steve, I do mind.
There's not much to say here except, don't do it. It's weird. It's weirder than sitting and taking notes at the gym... *coughs*
"Sorry about all the hair in the shower"
I mean seriously though, come on people!
6. Talking about food:
"I always get so hungry during a workout. Maybe after this I'll have a burger, fries, a milkshake, and maybe a whole chocolate cake!"
Unless you want all eyes on you full of hatred, keep your food thoughts inside your own head.
7. Approaching someone unexpectedly:
If you want to make someone jump and drop weights on their foot, pop out of nowhere and say hi.
8. The top thing Bob found one should never do or say at the gym is, BRAG:
"I got all these stomachs from crunches. Crunch bars, Captain crunch, cinnamon toast..."
It wasn't too difficult to realize the last one was because Bob was bragging about his 12 pack of Coors light belly to the personal trainers.
What to take from this, more than anything is, don't do anything Bob would do at the gym and we promise you'll be fine.