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What is Bob looking at right now?

No, really, Bob can't find his glasses and can't see anything.
38% (92 votes)
I'll say, either a Ted Nugent poster or a llama wearing a pair of capri pants?
62% (149 votes)
Total votes: 241

Bob is having what desert right now?

An entire bunt cake slathered in strawberry cream cheese?
24% (24 votes)
Fifteen Pop Tarts Glued together with fudge?
12% (12 votes)
A bag of Oreo cookies filled with powdered sugar and Hershey's syrup?
9% (9 votes)
Doughnuts and meat?
11% (11 votes)
Two blueberry pies mashed together with melted Cadbury eggs and whipped cream gluing them to one another?
18% (18 votes)
A light salad cos all of this was a dream and Bob's not all that happy with eating healthy right now?
26% (26 votes)
Total votes: 100

What would you like to see Bob do?

A Dudeoir calender?
8% (5 votes)
Lead a citywide Pokemon Go tournement?
6% (4 votes)
Take Joey Chestnutt on in a Bunt Cake eating contest?
6% (4 votes)
Combine falling out of a plane and karoke with Rick Astley.
2% (1 vote)
Get drunk with power and decide to only play "The Chipmunk Christmas Song" for a week straight.
10% (6 votes)
Buy new shoes and weep openly at how great they are.
0% (0 votes)
Drive around Austin throwing hundred dollar bills out of a moving vehicle
66% (41 votes)
Wait, who wrote that last one? No no no no.
2% (1 vote)
Total votes: 62

Where would you rather be right now?

Diving head first into Barton Springs pool...
8% (2 votes)
Standing in the fan aisle at HEB with all the fans pointed at you
0% (0 votes)
Eating a tub of chocolate ice cream with a bent spoon standing in front of the open freezer door
0% (0 votes)
Singing in the shower
4% (1 vote)
Drinking in the shower
0% (0 votes)
Center aisle at the incredibly air conditioned Alamo Drafthouse, sleeping through that Ninja Turtles movie.
8% (2 votes)
Watching beads of perspirsation ease down the side of that bottle of frosty beverage
8% (2 votes)
Watching beads of perspirsation ease down the side of your next door neighbor, Mindy
8% (2 votes)
Driving very fast in a place with no traffic, top down, air on full, Bob FM cranked up...
65% (17 votes)
Total votes: 26

What do you do when Bob is on in the background?

Pretend to Work
23% (12 votes)
Make Dinner
4% (2 votes)
Drive very very very very slowly on I-35 and beat the steering wheel mercilessly.
13% (7 votes)
Light carpentry.
2% (1 vote)
Light taxidermy.
4% (2 votes)
Your taxes, cos, hey, it's June, might as well get my 2015's started.
2% (1 vote)
Pretend to do Homework
0% (0 votes)
Write Bob's name surounded by hearts on the cover of your Ms. Baird's book cover.
2% (1 vote)
Surf the internet, stalk Ryan Gosling, imagine he and Bob must look exactly alike. I mean, it just makes sense, doesn't it?
6% (3 votes)
Drift off to sleep, even though you're still stuck in non-moving traffic on 35.
6% (3 votes)
Wonder if Scott Elder whispering sweet nothings sounds just like Scott Elder yelling about cars.
13% (7 votes)
Attempt to clean, give up, enjoy a frosty beverage instead.
25% (13 votes)
Total votes: 52

Who are you voting for this presidential election?

Lady?
6% (3 votes)
Man?
4% (2 votes)
That other Guy?
6% (3 votes)
There's an election?
2% (1 vote)
The Arby's Big Beef And Cheddar?
6% (3 votes)
Batman?
15% (7 votes)
The smell of K-Mart popcorn?
4% (2 votes)
Lynyrd Skynyrd?
9% (4 votes)
Greg "Boom Boom" Johnson?
0% (0 votes)
Bob?
47% (22 votes)
Total votes: 47

Brothers And Sisters, Bob wants to know your favorite Prince song!

1999
12% (11 votes)
Purple Rain
13% (12 votes)
U Got The Look
4% (4 votes)
The Most Beautiful Girl In The World
3% (3 votes)
Little Red Corvette
9% (9 votes)
Sign O' The Times
1% (1 vote)
Batdance
0% (0 votes)
Nothing Compares To U
3% (3 votes)
I Wanna Be Your Lover
5% (5 votes)
Get Off
1% (1 vote)
Kiss
1% (1 vote)
Let's Go Crazy
13% (12 votes)
Raspberry Beret
3% (3 votes)
Pop Life
1% (1 vote)
Darlin' Nikki
8% (8 votes)
Alphabet Street
0% (0 votes)
Seven
1% (1 vote)
Thieves In The Temple
0% (0 votes)
Housequake
0% (0 votes)
Cream
4% (4 votes)
When Doves Cry
17% (16 votes)
Total votes: 95

Pick Bob's Breakfast Cereal Of The Week!

Total
0% (0 votes)
Total
0% (0 votes)
Total
0% (0 votes)
Total
0% (0 votes)
Total
0% (0 votes)
Total
0% (0 votes)
Total
0% (0 votes)
Total
0% (0 votes)
Total
0% (0 votes)
Frankenberry
100% (4 votes)
Total votes: 4

Bob just bought a very expensive painting of ducks. Where should Bob hang it?

Here?
0% (0 votes)
Here?
18% (3 votes)
Over Here?
29% (5 votes)
Here?
6% (1 vote)
WHAT DO MEAN IN THE FIRST PLACE WE TRIED?
18% (3 votes)
YOU HANG IT THEN!
12% (2 votes)
*DOOR SLAM*
18% (3 votes)
Total votes: 17

Meatloaf would do ANYTHING for love, but he wouldn't do What?

Help you move
3% (1 vote)
Pick up your sister at the airport
0% (0 votes)
You know, that one thing, WINK WINK
30% (9 votes)
Admit to liking The Dave Matthews Band
10% (3 votes)
Aim
0% (0 votes)
Buy her feminine products at the H.E.B. by yourself
20% (6 votes)
Actually eat her meatloaf
7% (2 votes)
His and Her matching tracksuits
10% (3 votes)
Stab a mime
13% (4 votes)
Join the National Dulcimer Appreciation Society
7% (2 votes)
Total votes: 30